In the beginning of your dating relationship, you really do not forget. Some choices are a bit tough for you to make as being with someone who was a decisive factor in what they wanted to do and gave you a secure feeling. They not only set the agenda for your time together, but also the tone.
And you honestly did not think much about it. Things ran like clockwork and you both had a good time. That's all that counts.
This is all that counts until you had the crazy idea that maybe the other person would not mind if you only take the lead this time to decide what to do about the date and where. You scope out a place that one of your friends recommended. It looks like a fun game, so you tell your dating partner all about it. And once the words leave your mouth, you wish you had not said anything.
They had all things in place, and there is no need to change, but that in fact, they accuse you of trying to spoil the whole dating relationship. You let them slow down. Everything you were doing is trying to make some contribution as a suggestion and not your right, it was just a suggestion.
That gives them even more. Now they really take it personally. Or they start with the argument more intense or they sulk as a four year old already told they can not have candy. Just to let you peace them have their way. This seems to snap them out of their mood and they go about the rest of your time together as if nothing happened.
If this sort of thing happens once and then not worry, but if not then you will have to decide whether you want to continue dating a control freak.
In his essay "Dealing with Control Freaks" Psychologist Thomas J. Schumacher writes, "Control freaks, the need and desire to reach new heights, and others stress so they can maintain a sense of order. These people are riddled with anxiety, fear, insecurity and anger. They are very critical respect of their beloved and their friends, but that perfect outfit and body is a large mountain misery. "
That is all well and good but now the decision for you is whether you are going to let them make you unhappy, close or stay of the relationship with them and learn to your site.
Option one is not a real option, and you're not ready to end the relationship because you really want and care for that person. That leaves number three. You want to hold your ground but constant challenge to do this will only lead you back to an option.
This means you will have to remain calm and stay as relaxed as possible. Surprise your dating partner with kindness and patience. It does not mean you become their personal doormat. Make demands of them clearly shows that you are not afraid nor intimidated. Do it but do so gently.
Even if they want to schedule them (at this moment anyway) but stay in control of the timing. For example, they want to go to a museum and then a bite to eat. You decide after an hour's time to depart from the museum and make your way to the restaurant, after an hour or two there you decide it's time to go. They have their way in choosing the agenda, but your power is exercised by a stay in control of the pace.
Do you love your partner dating much. You even feel like there is a potential for building a good relationship with them. But there must be ground rules. They might be a mass of uncertainty and dissatisfaction, but a person who always found their way into a relationship is not doing a good person. Be patient, loving and quiet yet keep in mind that you have the power to enter into this partnership. Do not be afraid to use it from time to time. This will benefit both of you.
And you honestly did not think much about it. Things ran like clockwork and you both had a good time. That's all that counts.
This is all that counts until you had the crazy idea that maybe the other person would not mind if you only take the lead this time to decide what to do about the date and where. You scope out a place that one of your friends recommended. It looks like a fun game, so you tell your dating partner all about it. And once the words leave your mouth, you wish you had not said anything.
They had all things in place, and there is no need to change, but that in fact, they accuse you of trying to spoil the whole dating relationship. You let them slow down. Everything you were doing is trying to make some contribution as a suggestion and not your right, it was just a suggestion.
That gives them even more. Now they really take it personally. Or they start with the argument more intense or they sulk as a four year old already told they can not have candy. Just to let you peace them have their way. This seems to snap them out of their mood and they go about the rest of your time together as if nothing happened.
If this sort of thing happens once and then not worry, but if not then you will have to decide whether you want to continue dating a control freak.
In his essay "Dealing with Control Freaks" Psychologist Thomas J. Schumacher writes, "Control freaks, the need and desire to reach new heights, and others stress so they can maintain a sense of order. These people are riddled with anxiety, fear, insecurity and anger. They are very critical respect of their beloved and their friends, but that perfect outfit and body is a large mountain misery. "
That is all well and good but now the decision for you is whether you are going to let them make you unhappy, close or stay of the relationship with them and learn to your site.
Option one is not a real option, and you're not ready to end the relationship because you really want and care for that person. That leaves number three. You want to hold your ground but constant challenge to do this will only lead you back to an option.
This means you will have to remain calm and stay as relaxed as possible. Surprise your dating partner with kindness and patience. It does not mean you become their personal doormat. Make demands of them clearly shows that you are not afraid nor intimidated. Do it but do so gently.
Even if they want to schedule them (at this moment anyway) but stay in control of the timing. For example, they want to go to a museum and then a bite to eat. You decide after an hour's time to depart from the museum and make your way to the restaurant, after an hour or two there you decide it's time to go. They have their way in choosing the agenda, but your power is exercised by a stay in control of the pace.
Do you love your partner dating much. You even feel like there is a potential for building a good relationship with them. But there must be ground rules. They might be a mass of uncertainty and dissatisfaction, but a person who always found their way into a relationship is not doing a good person. Be patient, loving and quiet yet keep in mind that you have the power to enter into this partnership. Do not be afraid to use it from time to time. This will benefit both of you.
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