11.28.2008

Relationship Dating: This Cannot be Their Family

Count your blessings that this date is finally over. No it has nothing to do with your date. As a matter of fact the two of you have been Hitting it off pretty good. No it has not gotten to the marriage talk internship but you both feel you have a future together. After tonight you are not so sure. This was the first time you with their family and in many way you wish it was the last time. Sure things started out okay. Mom, dad, brother and sister greeted you warmly and exchanged pleasantries all the correct. Unfortunately from that moment on it all went downhill. As the evening wore on you came to several conclusions: a. Dad is an obnoxious Jerk b. Junior is studying for his entrance exam into Moron University c. Mother is the nosiest human being you have ever in your life with d. Sister is suffering from a severe case of SRS comm only known as snide remark syndrome. You turn to your date periodically during the course of the evening and swear to yourself that they could not be possible from this family. You can convincing yourself that your date is a scientist here to do a case study. Of course it's not true but it did help you get though the evening. Now you've got a situation on your hands. You feel strongly about your dating partner but the very thought of visiting that family again let alone having them as in laws makes you physically ill. So what can you do about it? 1. Get Over It You love your dating partner so you accept the fact that their family is an important part of their life. You grin and bear it while counting the two yourself that if you decide to get married it's not like they are going to move in with you. You hope and pray. 2. Get To Know Them First impressions are lasting impressions but they are not the only impressions. If and when you are invited back, try to go in with an open mind. See if there is some common ground that can make the visit easier. Or see if they have interest that you have always been curious about. Sometimes once you get past the initial shock, you discover things are not as bad as they appear. 3. Get Going Just forget it. You tell yourself that your date is a wonderful person but there is no way you can deal with their family. If you go this route, be up front with your dating partner. Understand they may give you an earful for having that type of attitude but at least you did not then try to con them. Now your dating partner may be Sympathetic to your cause. They may love their family but accept the fact they are not to everyone's taste. Therefore listen if they offer some options which will keep the relationship going. If you feel as you say you do than do not make them beg and do everything within reason to see if the two of you can work out a compromise.
Count your blessings that this date is finally over. No, this has nothing to do with your date. In fact, you got him from hitting pretty good. No, it does not become talk to the marriage stage, but you both feel you have a future together.

After tonight you're not so sure. This was the first time you meet their family and in many way you wish it was the last time. Sure things started well. Mom, dad, brother and sister greeted warmly welcome you and all the correct exchanged polite units. Unfortunately, from that moment everything went downhill.

As the evening wore on you came to several conclusions:

a. Dad is an obnoxious jerk

b. Junior is studying for his university entrance exam in Moron

c. Mother is the nosiest man you've ever met in your life

d. Sister is suffering from a serious case of SRS commonly known as a snide remark syndrome.

You save your date periodically during the night and swear to yourself that it could not be possible from this family. Can you convince yourself that your date is a scientist here to do a case study. He is obviously not true, but it has to help you all night.

Now you have a situation on your hands. You feel strongly about your dating partner, but that the idea to visit the family again let alone that it is in law makes you physically ill.

So what can you do?

1. Get over it

You love your partner, so that your dating accepting the fact that their family is an important part of their lives. You grin and bear it while telling yourself that if you decide to marry the two, it's not as if they are going to move with you. You hope and pray.

2. Teach them to know

First impressions are lasting impressions, but they are not the only impressions. If and when you are invited back, try to go with an open mind. See if there is some common ground that the visit may facilitate. Or see if they interest you have always been curious about. Sometimes once you get past the first shock, you discover things are not as bad as they seem.

3. Get Going

Forget it. You say yourself that your date is a fantastic man, but there is no way you can deal with their family. If you find this route in advance with your dating partner. Understand they can give you an earful for that kind of attitude, but at least you do not then try to con them.

Now that your dating partner may be sympathetic to your case. They may love their family, but accept the fact that they are not to everyone's taste. Therefore listen when they offer a number of options that keep the relationship going. If you believe as you say you do then do not make them beg and do everything within reason to see if you can work on a compromise.

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